Your words landed on the moon, a sensational achievement! Your translation is beautiful but I think the poem suffers somewhat from some of its Western references, especially 'English Pointer' which brought me crashing back to earth.
Good morning! In translation, especially academic translation you really do have to be faithful to the original. And it’s interesting that I receive feedback from other people who absolutely love these oddball details which is kind of part of his greatness. In this poem it doesn’t bother me as much as in another poem where there’s an image that just strikes me so off key that if the poet have been alive and if these were ever published I would beg the poet to let me change it and I’m sure he would allow that. But that’s kind of sad for historical reasons but at the same time if he were still alive he might’ve changed it himself! In Japanese I mean! This was a period of great westernization and especially Oscar Wilde and the arts and crafts movement was so popular at the time he was working and so he has these kind of strange quirky details.
Yes, the quirky details cast the changes taking place in Japan; hinting at the wish that the detail the author imagines as much as the object itself -- indeed, the wish is more important to the poem than the object as we know it now. And I use the word wish with caution; the author has grasped something larger than life at this crosswind of change, knows that this is something larger than life, hence the imagining of the object as i=fully integrated into the all of the all. Make any sense? It is, perhaps, the case that something in the native cultural presence that has seemed unknowable and/or unknown has hinted its actual presence in this crosswind of change. The object chosen to be the messenger of this "unknowable/unknown" can seem out of place.
It’s like a dissonant note in a piece of music. And it would definitely be something a translator would stop and talk to the poet about to ask their intention and explain how it comes across in English— but when the poet is long gone you probably wouldn’t want to touch that because like you said it’s a historical artifact “this cross wind of change.” That’s such a beautiful way of putting it too.
In fact yesterday somebody emailed me and said they thought poems with these words reflecting quirky uses of English would have a strong appeal to an English speaking reader ship. Definitely makes you stop or hesitate. This English pointer always made me stop and then there’s another poem where there was one word that really really bothered me and I specifically never submit that translation anywhere because I’ve never liked it but what can I do as a translator? These are probably the most famous modern poems in Japan they’ve been on the bestseller list forever. Movies have been made about the poet and his wife and they are kind of the stuff of legend so you couldn’t really make big changes! I love these poems very much I feel like they’re part of my heart probably because I’ve been working with them for so long!
I totally get what you're saying. And, the specific appeal to an English readership with the quirks makes sense to me. Of course, the workings of language are such that no word is a distinct entity in itself (my brother writes about this, too). No single word is an island unto itself. So, bringing in a word from a foreign language carries the risk of using language for which the writer lacks sufficient "real world" experience to choose language that has underpinnings to the writer's native tongue. (However, part of the appeal (pun intended) of the chosen language word (English pointer) is that the native Japanese seems, somehow, to the writer to neatly mesh with "English pointer". ). Yes, as legendary poetry, you tread lightly in translation!
Thank you so much! I’ve been working on these translations since I was in grad school I feel like they’re actually part of my body and mind at this point! On Facebook I said it was a success but I was being very selfish because even if the lander didn’t make it in workable condition that translation is definitely on the moon!
I love the quirky details! So cool that your words are on the moon!
Thank you!!!!
Your words landed on the moon, a sensational achievement! Your translation is beautiful but I think the poem suffers somewhat from some of its Western references, especially 'English Pointer' which brought me crashing back to earth.
Good morning! In translation, especially academic translation you really do have to be faithful to the original. And it’s interesting that I receive feedback from other people who absolutely love these oddball details which is kind of part of his greatness. In this poem it doesn’t bother me as much as in another poem where there’s an image that just strikes me so off key that if the poet have been alive and if these were ever published I would beg the poet to let me change it and I’m sure he would allow that. But that’s kind of sad for historical reasons but at the same time if he were still alive he might’ve changed it himself! In Japanese I mean! This was a period of great westernization and especially Oscar Wilde and the arts and crafts movement was so popular at the time he was working and so he has these kind of strange quirky details.
Yes, the quirky details cast the changes taking place in Japan; hinting at the wish that the detail the author imagines as much as the object itself -- indeed, the wish is more important to the poem than the object as we know it now. And I use the word wish with caution; the author has grasped something larger than life at this crosswind of change, knows that this is something larger than life, hence the imagining of the object as i=fully integrated into the all of the all. Make any sense? It is, perhaps, the case that something in the native cultural presence that has seemed unknowable and/or unknown has hinted its actual presence in this crosswind of change. The object chosen to be the messenger of this "unknowable/unknown" can seem out of place.
It’s like a dissonant note in a piece of music. And it would definitely be something a translator would stop and talk to the poet about to ask their intention and explain how it comes across in English— but when the poet is long gone you probably wouldn’t want to touch that because like you said it’s a historical artifact “this cross wind of change.” That’s such a beautiful way of putting it too.
In fact yesterday somebody emailed me and said they thought poems with these words reflecting quirky uses of English would have a strong appeal to an English speaking reader ship. Definitely makes you stop or hesitate. This English pointer always made me stop and then there’s another poem where there was one word that really really bothered me and I specifically never submit that translation anywhere because I’ve never liked it but what can I do as a translator? These are probably the most famous modern poems in Japan they’ve been on the bestseller list forever. Movies have been made about the poet and his wife and they are kind of the stuff of legend so you couldn’t really make big changes! I love these poems very much I feel like they’re part of my heart probably because I’ve been working with them for so long!
I totally get what you're saying. And, the specific appeal to an English readership with the quirks makes sense to me. Of course, the workings of language are such that no word is a distinct entity in itself (my brother writes about this, too). No single word is an island unto itself. So, bringing in a word from a foreign language carries the risk of using language for which the writer lacks sufficient "real world" experience to choose language that has underpinnings to the writer's native tongue. (However, part of the appeal (pun intended) of the chosen language word (English pointer) is that the native Japanese seems, somehow, to the writer to neatly mesh with "English pointer". ). Yes, as legendary poetry, you tread lightly in translation!
Gorgeous poem! Momentous occasion for this translation of the marriage of heaven and earth.
Thank you!!!!!!!!!
How exciting, and what an exquisite translation!
Thank you so much! I’ve been working on these translations since I was in grad school I feel like they’re actually part of my body and mind at this point! On Facebook I said it was a success but I was being very selfish because even if the lander didn’t make it in workable condition that translation is definitely on the moon!
And you are understandably 'over the moon'!
Hehe!