Wim Wenders, Sudha Murty & the Good Life

"Happiness=reality minus expectations"

1.

I finally saw Perfect Days, and I think it was the best Wim Wenders film since Wings of Desire. A masterpiece. I loved the slow pace and really appreciated the way Wenders managed to show (not tell) how habits can become the scaffolding for a peaceful life. And yeah, those Tokyo public toilets!

I read that the project began when Wenders was invited to create a documentary about the toilets— but then decided that telling a story would work better. And so, we follow a certain Mr. Hirayama, as he spends his days working as a public toilet cleaner. Living a life that many people would perhaps not find fulfilling, Hirayama lives alone in a cheap apartment, using the public bath and eating inexpensive foods, even his days off are spent doing chores like laundry. His life is solitary and repetitive—and yet, he always stops to notice things: the weather in the morning and the way light filters through the trees. The original title of the film was komorebi 木漏れ日, which roughly translates as "sunlight leaking through trees"

Perfect Days is almost a manifesto about the need for simplicity and for going easy on the world. It reminds me of my favorite Chinese poet, Li Qingzhao, whose sobriquet was “to be easily satisfied” (号:易安). taken from a line by Tao Yuanming → 倚南窗以寄傲， 审容膝之易安 (Leaning on the southern window, I surrender my pride to nature and in this room scarely big enough to contain my knees, I am easily contented). From an essay called "Homecoming" (歸去來兮辭), it was written in 404 CE about the poet's leaving officialdom to "return home" and devote the rest of his life to self-cultivation and the simple life. 

The essay inspired countless philosophers and poets in China and Japan to turn inward and to never forget that "less is more."

And of course, when things get crazy in the world, the wise take to the hills.

2.

What was interesting for me watching the film was that the day before I had just finished reading a wonderful biography called, An Uncommon Love : The Early Life of Sudha and Narayana Murthy, by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni. I love Divakurumi from her novel Mistress of Spices—and I have heard she has become an even better writer over time. I was delighted to learn she wrote the biography and was surprised by the romantic love that characterized the early days of the software billionaire Narayana Murthy and his wife Sudha, who is an engineer, philanthropist and best selling writer. I knew about her husband and his legendary software company Infosys and I also knew about their children (one was a former wife of ex British PM and the son having started the glorious Murty Classics of India).

But I had no idea that theirs was a great love match.

Despite having radically different life trajectories—Hirayama went from wealth to toilet cleaner while the Murthy’s went from struggling entrepreneurs to global powerhouses—there were two unmistakable points of intersection. The first is the strong focus on simple habits; for billionaire Sudha Murty is not as captivated by the material then I would imagine. My friend Ash told me that “Murthys are often called the Warren Buffets of India - simple living and high thinking.” And according to the biography at least, she is uninterested in consumerism. Like Hirayama, she loves books and ideas. The over overlap is the way Murty, like Hirayama in the movie, have a strong focus on finding joy in the present moment. Both were less invested in outcomes than you would imagine, especially for someone as successful as she is—but then what is success, really?

In her book, she repeated the phrase several times that happiness is reality minus expectations—and I think this is the single best advice for anyone in the world.

3.

One caveat about the movie.

I believe that while Wenders really did approach the project wanting to highlight the joy that can be found by slowing down and unplugging, the story was actually quite sad, since Hirayama was essentially alone in the world. Everyone has their own priorities regarding their time on earth, of course, but I suppose I am someone who values my connections to other human beings more than anything. I do know what not everyone is the same—I think my husband, for example, values his career highest. For a massive introvert, which I am, I still found Hirayama’s aloneness sad. Especially in contrast to Murty, who is very deeply connected with other people. Her devotion to her family (including siblings) was especially moving to me, and everyday I feel grateful for my family—as a friend said a few days ago, closeness between family is becoming less and less common these days. And Hirayama really is alone with the alone.

Until halfway through the film, you wouldn’t think he had any friends or family at all—until one day his niece shows up and you see the kindness that he has shown toward the plants and the care he displays at work being directed to this girl. And that is when he seemed almost happy. And then there was the ending too.

Right now, I am reading The Disappearance of Rituals: A Topology of the Present, by Byung-Chul Han about how the disappearance of rituals from social life is bringing forth the collapse of community. There is, according to Han, a difference between healthy habits and routines with the common rhythm of ritual (as in shared practices)— he says: Without resonance we are thrown back on to ourselves, isolated. Increasing narcissism works against the experience of resonance. Resonance is not an echo of the self; the dimension of the other is inherent in it. It means accord. Where resonance disappears completely, depression arises. Today’s crisis of community is a crisis of resonance. Digital communication channels are filled with echo chambers in which the voices we hear are mainly our own. Likes, friends and followers do not provide us with resonance; they only strengthen the echoes of the self.

It is an excellent book for fans of Han.

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Notes:

• For those interested in space, my husband’s work led to a new discovery which includes a pretty name: the Dandelion Nebula. In the story he is cited as a co-author of the paper, but he built the instrument too.

• One of my haibun was published in a literary magazine I love: La Piccioletta Barca. I wrote a pair that I felt belonged together—hoping someday to see them published as a set!

• Tokyo Toilets video